So it looks like Morocco has fallen through. At the last minute I remembered that my family is poor and was really taking a huge leap to pay for my walkabout (even with half of it being paid for by various funds and scholarships). It was doable but at what cost? I didn't want my trip to be the reason that we couldn't get the car fixed over the summer when it will inevitable break down, or be the reason we would be unable to cope with any of the inevitable setbacks that the summer is bound to throw at us at the worst possible time (my mom doesn't work during the summer, one of the pit falls of being a substitute school librarian). I was really upset for about three hours after I came to this realization and walked from Graham to Whetstone and back to keep from crying on the bus.
Things have kind of gone down hill this weekend. My mom isn't taking to me (for reasons I don't think I can explain). This has kind of put my walkabout planning on hold for now. When I return to school I need to talk to Amy about whether or not any of my funding could be transfered to Plan B: St. Croix. I'm getting tired of my mom letting me in only to shut me out again. She's flaking out on me when need her most and with every passing day I'm getting angrier and angrier. It's not acceptable for me to at the way she's acting, why should it be acceptable for her? Damn that mirror.
Anyway my St. Croix Walkabout is like a quarter of the cost of Morocco so right now that's looking pretty good even if my mom doesn't talk to me for the rest of the year, I think I can get enough assistance through different funds and bugging my dad enough (who now that Morocco is completely out of the question tells me that he'd be able to pay for about a quarter of my trip) to pay my way into a comfortable walkabout experience.
Anyway I have better things to be doing right now than be crying over spilled milk, like watching South Park.
Until a hopefully brighter next time...
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7 comments:
:[ it seems like everyone's had a bad day today...
i hate it when parents are hypocritical, then go on to say, "Do what I say, not what I do"
that's dumb.
i really really really hope st croix works out for you.
:\
it will work out. imagine that morocco suddenly gets bombed or something. think "tanne's walkabout". XD
i miss you jordan!
hehe- no worries. :]
although that melvin guy gave me the heebie jeebies, i'm pretty sure my profile says enough.
wow I absolutly know how that feels
this week is just full of bad news!
Jordan,
I hope you don't mind my reading your journals. You always expressed yourself in written language so well.
I heard today about Morocco, but didn't know what happened. I am sorry it came down to finances. It sounds like you made a good decision though. Considering how things are going with your mom right now, it sounds like maybe things could've been worse if you had emptied the finances as well. (I'm guessing based on your blog:))
I'd like to hear more about St. Croix. Maybe we can find people with money and convince them to give it to you!!! Seriously, this sounds like it might be feasible. You are probably trying hard not to get too worked up just yet. I don't blame you. Let me know if I can help at all to get things going.
You're cool.
Melissa
Thanks, I'm happy your reading my blog (I wanted you to be my staff reader but everyone had already snatched you up). I agree. Now is not the best time for me to be going to Morocco, not just financially but academically and it would probably be better for me to spend more than three weeks there if I have a chance sometime during college. Anyway I still have to talk to my parents and Amy about finances this week but right now St. Croix is looking pretty feasible. Even though it isn't Morocco St. Croix has the possibility of being a pretty great experience!
I am really only signed up for Allison. So, I am more than happy to read yours. I'm just cruising around reading different people's stuff. Seeing what they're up to.
St. Croix is definitely not Ohio, so "Hello, St. Croix!" I actually do like Ohio, but it is nice to get away and have a different experience once in awhile. If you're like me, since you've been traveling out of the country, the travel bug has really got you now.
Well, be persistent and get going on this. I must read about far off places (anywhere that is not Ohio:))
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